This past week my wife and I wasn’t seeing eye to eye. We had a disagreement then instead of resolving it, we went to our separate corners. The house felt it. Our kids remained in their room, afraid of being a casualty of our silent war.
In an effort to avoid having to inevitably apologize to my wife, i began to scroll Facebook. After a few memes and videos, i noticed a picture of a man that is familiar. Not as I know him familiar, but more like I seen him somewhere before. Above the photo is a emoji of a broken heart. Moving my finger I click the name.
We aren’t Facebook friends so of course i can’t see much. However, there is a video with a familiar face. She was my supervisor and friend back in the days when I worked as an STNA. I click play on the video and my heart sank.
The video loads and it displays a woman. Her face, which is usually full of joy, covered by radiant caramel skin, now looks haggard and tired. Her eyes her puffy and red, the look is topped off deeper than usual frown lines and her skin is wet with tears. She is speaking but her first few words escapes me as my mind puts the pieces together.
And like a punch in the face, the memory of her and I sitting at the nurses station as she shows me a photo of her family. The man in the photo is her husband. I start the video over, giving it the attention it deserves.
Her mask slides off figuratively and literally as she explains the news she had received about her Covid positive spouse. Her N92 slides down as tear cascades down her cheeks and her words becomes just a jumble of grief. Without saying exactly what it was, she gives the impression that the news was grave. At 10:32 the video ends with her final words. “Appreciate the people you have in your life because you ‘ll never know.
We seldom consider the frailty of life, but this event makes me realize mine and what’s more, my loved ones mortality. I also have to take stock on how easy it has been to let something like an argument that I can’t remember make me lose focus on what’s important.
After checking on my friend and sending my condolences, I turned to my wife. I stood up, walked over and kissed her. She smiled. Because sometimes we dont have to revisit a situation. We just have to rise above it.
It shouldn’t take a pandemic for us to appreciate each other, or at the very least treat each other better. We often take things for granted that we should cherish. Don’t wait. Be proactive about your relationships, not reactive.
A.R Smith 